Corvine Sixty-Nine
I originally posted this as a status on Facebook about four years ago and thought I would reshare it with all of you today. Enjoy!
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This morning I woke up, rolled out of bed and began my long slow stagger to the bathroom with my toothbrush in hand. I opened the door to my room, stepped out and closed it behind me so the cats would not think that I was allowing them in for a visit since my closet is The Most Fascinating Place on Earth as far as cats are concerned.
It was a needless gesture because both of the boys, Rapey and Prometheus, were sitting side-by-side in front of the sliding glass door, enraptured by something that was going on outside. My curiosity was piqued and I paused to join them in their observation.
I was treated to a majestic scene transpiring in the backyard, just beyond the chain link fence. A baby deer, dappled with the white spots of his youth was nursing from his mother. There was a sense of subdued wonder, warmth in the air, the glowing radiance of early morning sunshine and I could hear the singing of cartoon birds. It was a touching, Disneyesque moment.
There was just one minor detail marring the splendor I was witnessing. The mama deer was licking the baby deer’s butt - not like the normal Mama-Animal-Cleaning-The-Baby-Animal type of licking. She was GOING TO TOWN. Even from where I was standing I could see that her eyes were closed. The baby was being fellated so vigorously that its tail was whipping around in circles like a Pomeranian on crack.
I stood, stunned, for about thirty seconds, wanting to avert my gaze but unable to turn away from the Incestuous Corvine Sixty-Nine playing out before me.
Then, suddenly, the mama deer stopped. She looked up with what I believed to be an expression of guilt slowly spreading across her face. She turned and stared at me and the cats, locking eyes with each of us in turn before slowly leading her baby off into the woods, presumably to finish tossing his salad in private.
- - - - -
This morning I woke up, rolled out of bed and began my long slow stagger to the bathroom with my toothbrush in hand. I opened the door to my room, stepped out and closed it behind me so the cats would not think that I was allowing them in for a visit since my closet is The Most Fascinating Place on Earth as far as cats are concerned.
It was a needless gesture because both of the boys, Rapey and Prometheus, were sitting side-by-side in front of the sliding glass door, enraptured by something that was going on outside. My curiosity was piqued and I paused to join them in their observation.
I was treated to a majestic scene transpiring in the backyard, just beyond the chain link fence. A baby deer, dappled with the white spots of his youth was nursing from his mother. There was a sense of subdued wonder, warmth in the air, the glowing radiance of early morning sunshine and I could hear the singing of cartoon birds. It was a touching, Disneyesque moment.
There was just one minor detail marring the splendor I was witnessing. The mama deer was licking the baby deer’s butt - not like the normal Mama-Animal-Cleaning-The-Baby-Animal type of licking. She was GOING TO TOWN. Even from where I was standing I could see that her eyes were closed. The baby was being fellated so vigorously that its tail was whipping around in circles like a Pomeranian on crack.
I stood, stunned, for about thirty seconds, wanting to avert my gaze but unable to turn away from the Incestuous Corvine Sixty-Nine playing out before me.
Then, suddenly, the mama deer stopped. She looked up with what I believed to be an expression of guilt slowly spreading across her face. She turned and stared at me and the cats, locking eyes with each of us in turn before slowly leading her baby off into the woods, presumably to finish tossing his salad in private.
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