Assorted Baby-Related Posts
Baby Fight Club
Doctor comes in with med student to examine our newborn...
Doc (to student), "You will see that there is some bruising around the top of his head."
Me (silently to myself), "Baby Fight Club will do that to you..."
Doctor comes in with med student to examine our newborn...
Doc (to student), "You will see that there is some bruising around the top of his head."
Me (silently to myself), "Baby Fight Club will do that to you..."
Post-Partum Pizza Thoughts
Me last night - looking to warm up some leftover pizza at the hospital... "It would be nice if they had microwaves in the room...."
Also me last night - "They can't do that because they are afraid some postpartum mothers might try to microwave their babies..."
Also Also me last night - "๐๐ฆ๐ด๐ถ๐ด ๐๐ฉ๐ณ๐ช๐ด๐ต! How did I come up with ๐๐๐ผ๐? ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐จ ๐๐ง๐ค๐ฃ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ข๐?"
Naming Guidelines
So the hospital gave us a sheet of "rules" to use while naming The Child.
1. Numbers are fine as long as they are spelled out...i.e., we could name the baby 'Twelve' but not '12' and not Tr1stan.
2. No symbols or emojis so ๐ณ๐❤ was out, as was J@©k.
3. No titles unless they are used as a name - this one is a bit weirder to describe but the gist of it says that King Tristan is disqualified but Tristan King would have been a-okay.
4. Suffixes were allowed as long as they didn'try violate any of the above rules or grant an academic or professional degree so no Dr, Esq, PhD or MD. But we could have conceivably gone with First Name Middle Name Last Name IV. (I think the IV makes it sound more legitimate - My Wife compared it to not starting out your checkbook at 0001. Also, the same reasoning makes the First Annual Anything sounds pretentious).
Baby Lotion
2. No symbols or emojis so ๐ณ๐❤ was out, as was J@©k.
3. No titles unless they are used as a name - this one is a bit weirder to describe but the gist of it says that King Tristan is disqualified but Tristan King would have been a-okay.
4. Suffixes were allowed as long as they didn'try violate any of the above rules or grant an academic or professional degree so no Dr, Esq, PhD or MD. But we could have conceivably gone with First Name Middle Name Last Name IV. (I think the IV makes it sound more legitimate - My Wife compared it to not starting out your checkbook at 0001. Also, the same reasoning makes the First Annual Anything sounds pretentious).
Baby Lotion
Me: "Made from babies by babies for babies..."
My Wife: "The babies make the lotion?"
Me, "That bothers you more than the 'from babies' part?"
My Wife, " Fair enough."
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